Neighborhood Watch/Transcript
Jason: Well, uh, Jan and I would like to thank each of you for coming out and volunteering for our neighborhood watch program. Whitney: That's right. We want to keep our street clean and our kids safe, and thanks to you all, we can do just that. Jason: And we just got the new shipment of street signs, so let's hang them up, and, uh, make it official, huh? Whitney: That's right! Oh, mr. Hansen picked them up today, right? Jeremy: Yeah, I just picked them up from city hall, I haven't even opened the box yet, so... Jeremy: Okay. And ta-da! Jeremy: Um... Matt: Are we gonna... talk about this? Stacey: Yes. Mallory: Yeah, why does that picture look just like mister Hanson? Jason: Uh, you're not a suspicious character, are you, Charles? Jeremy: What? Natalie: Sweetheart, is this true? Jeremy: What? No! No. Just because I look like this picture doesn't make me a criminal. Jason: But being a criminal does make you look like that picture. Natalie: Yes. Jeremy: Okay, still, no. Jason: Wait, wait, wait a second. I let him borrow my leafblower and he never gave it back. Jeremy: Okay, you never gave it to me. Jason: So he stole my leafblower and never gave it back! Jeremy: What?! Stacey: You know, the other day, Charles was handing out candy to children. Jeremy: So were you. It was Halloween. Stacey: We were handing out toothbrushes. Mallory: Thank you. Jeremy: And that's not weird? Natalie: You know, I've never trusted that mustache. Jeremy: Honey! Whitney: And, you know, come to think of it, Charles Hanson does sound suspiciously like Charles Manson! Jeremy: Okay, alright. Look, look. If I were Charles Manson, why would I only change my name by one letter? Matt: Because you're a murderer and you're lazy. Whitney: Yes. Stacey: Yeah, you know what I mean? Stacey: Wait! He's not even Charles Manson! Jeremy: Okay, thank you! Wait, is that my wallet? Stacey: It's much worse. He has another family! Jeremy: Stop gasping! Matt gasps. Matt: Sorry. Stacey: Yeah, and, uh, here's a picture of them! Jeremy: Okay, alright, that's a stock photo. It came with the wallet. Stacey: Oh! You're stalking them? Okay, okay. Jeremy: Look, I'm not a criminal! I don't even jaywalk. Natalie: I guess that's true, he only walks in the designated areas. It's actually really annoying. Jeremy: Uh, Dale, when you ran for city council, who helped you run? Jason: I lost. Jeremy: But who helped you run? Jason: You. Jeremy: And Neal, when you narrowly beat Dale for city council, who was the deciding vote? Matt: You. Jason: Hey! Jeremy: And Gary, when you stole Dale's leafblower, who covered for you? Okay? That's where it went! Whitney: Okay, Charles, I'm sorry we suspected you of being a murderous criminal. Natalie: I'm sorry I trusted a street sign over thirteen years of marriage. Whitney: Well, you know, I guess we could just put these old signs up. Stephen: Aw, come on! Category:Season 7